She woke with a start, her neck at an awkward angle on the couch pillow. The TV blared. She reached for the remote. "Omit needless words!" the man on the TV shouted, his forehead shining with sweat. She put the remote down.
"Strunk and White had the right idea," the man yelled, "but they didn't have the technology." A picture of "The Elements of Style" flashed on the screen, with a red slash in a circle on top. "Only WordsBeGone's spray repellent takes the drudgery out of zapping space-wasting words."
"Buy today," he screamed, "and you will get all this: Three cans of WordsBeGone, with our patented subatomic dispersal system. One machine-washable supershammy cloth for cleaning the residue. A gold-tone plaque attesting to your status as a Lean & Mean Writer.
"All this," the man said, waving his arm, his suit glowing in the cheap studio light, "and more. All this and more can be yours, just by picking up your phone …"
Driven by a strange compulsion, she dialed the number.
A week later, she was thrilled when she sprayed a thin coat of WordsBeGone on her monitor, and adverbs and adjectives dissolved instantly, sliding down the screen. A quick wipe with the supershammy cloth, and it was as if they had never existed.
Her story done, she was ready for lunch. In the hall, her talkative neighbor was opening his door. She braced for a long recitation of building gossip, but he just nodded.
She took that as a good sign, and decided to treat herself to her favorite sandwich, the - what, what was it called? It was on the tip of her tongue, but - .
On the corner, one car had smashed into another. The stop sign was a blank octagon. She turned to a policewoman, opened her mouth, but no words came out.
She felt oddly calm, as if she were meditating, and she instinctively started repeating her usual mantra. She couldn't hold onto the word. It slipped away, leaving her mind blank and vaguely uneasy.
At her feet was a bottle made of a strange material, neither plastic nor glass. She picked it up. Inside was a piece of paper with neatly printed words she might have agreed with, had she been able to read them: "Be careful what you wish for."