by Michelle Paszkowski

Created on: July 12, 2010   Last Updated: July 13, 2010

We've all been there, waiting in line at a crowded store, dry mouth, sore back, and more in the cart than you came in for. And then it happens, your child simply can't sit still and behave any longer. As he begins whining, other shoppers begin staring. Then the whining turns into loud demands of " I want to leave now!" Your face turns red, your hands begin to sweat, and more shoppers start to stare. The whole show usually ends with the child yelling and attempting to run away from your ever tightening grip on his hand.

There are so many schools of thought on how to react to your child's disobedience, or "bad" behavior. My generation grew up knowing full well what awaited us if we acted out, especially in public. It used to be acceptable to "spank" your child for pretty much any tantrums thrown. Times have changed, and there are so many newer ideas on how to deal with your child. The first and most important thing to learning how to change your child's behavior is communication between the adults in the household, and the children.

Communication with a child begins with setting limits. If a child does not know what is expected of them, than they have no path to follow. Every child will attempt to push the boundaries and test how far they can go, and how  much they can get away with. It's important for parents to set those limits, and abide by them at all times. Once a child is allowed to bend the rules they're given, they will undoubtedly break them. When a child reaches an age where they can comprehend the set of rules a parent lays out, explaining those rules is the number one building block for a strong disciplinary structure.

The second most important thing when it comes to discipline is to be aware of the way you speak to your child. There is no way to win a screaming match with a seven year old. Children respond better when they are spoken to in a calm manner. It's best to stay calm and focused, and always get down to their level to look them in the eyes. When children are in tantrum mode they are already past caring what kind of response is granted, in short if they can make you blow your top, they feel a sense of achievement. Although it's extremely hard at some times, staying calm and speaking in a firm tone without raising your voice will actually yield better results. Once you start yelling it will become a contest to see who can go louder, and that causes headaches.

The third thing to bring into successful discipline is consistency. If you tell

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