by Buckytat

Created on: July 12, 2010   Last Updated: July 13, 2010

Although newborns are so completely dependent they quickly begin to develop their own personality and begin asserting their opinions at such a young age.  For the first year or so this continues to develop and by the time a child is between 2-3 years old, he/she can already make very definite decisions and is able to act on those decisions.

From the time a child is born it is vitally important that the parent talk to the child.  Whether a book is being chewed into spitballs or a little finger is headed for an uncovered electrical socket, the parent should not only intervene; they should explain why the child shouldn’t do “that”.  As the child grows into toddlerhood, he/she will have a greater sense of right and wrong.  This is a time when innocent curiosity can turn into disobedience.

Once a child begins to obviously disobey is the point that a parent needs to begin addressing the disobedience.  Although every child’s personality differs from another’s, here are some basic guidelines for a parent to follow when addressing child disobedience:

Set very clear boundaries and be consistent

If your child does not understand exactly what is expected of them, they might break the rules without even knowing it.   Today Suzie can write on her face but tomorrow it is a “no-no”.  At home, a child can be out of control and destructive but when visiting others they must be quiet and still as a mouse.  Chances are that a child who is getting mixed signals is going to be more inclined to act up.  It makes them nervous to not know what’s next!

Decide on and explain consequences for actions; then stick to it

When a parent is not consistent with consequences and afore explained punishments, the children will be more inclined to push the limits every time.  Children will start to figure out what the odds are of doing what they want and getting away with it.

Never act out of frustration or anger but don’t be afraid to laugh

A disobedient child can often push your buttons.  That’s okay but it is best to not let your child see how upset you are inside.  Anger and frustration not only cause us to do and say things we may not mean, it can come across to a child as hatred.  However, if your child has done or said something that you find humorous don’t be afraid to laugh about it just make sure you still address any disobedience.

Begin working with your child concerning disobedience when he/she is still young.  If you follow the few basic rules and always show your child respect, your child will likely have respect for you and you both may have a chance of making it through those tough teenage years without ruining the parent/child relationship.

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