by Shawn Cape

Created on: March 01, 2007   Last Updated: May 13, 2007

Advice For The Ladies

Now I'm not trying to preach here, but some of the so-called "friends" in your ever expanding networks are real pieces of work. I've only been on Stalker Centra... er... MySpace for a short while, but I have made some notes. Some of you old timers out there might wish to tune in.

First of all, when you get a friend request from someone in, oh, Greenbough Alabama, chances are he's not coming over for sushi any time soon. I'm sorry, the people on my MySpace are my friends, or at least people I've met once or twice.

Secondly, once you've received your friend request from Vic Ferrari, look at his page. Okay, he looks like a nice guy. He's holding his pilsner glass aloft as if he's saluting you all the way from Portland Maine. Kind of like a beer ad, but with a Hawaiian shirt. Very nice. Scroll down. Does he have any friends? I mean REAL friends. Chances are he's not in the industry, so why is his top eight all porn stars? Or if they're not porn stars they're super models or skanks. You get the picture. Literally.

Why doesn't he have any guys in his friends list? Doesn't he know any guys? Do guys not use MySpace? I'm a guy. I'm pretty freakin' hetero. I've got guys in my top eight. What gives?

And lastly, ladies please read his blogs. So many of these guys are playing the sensitive lovey dovey type to get in your britches. He's not looking for love, at least not the way you're thinking. If you want a hook up - he's your guy. As you read on you will find he cries at movies or that he wants to "cherish the company of a good woman" or something equally romantically sappy. Does this crap really work?

Friends, I beg of you, be careful out there. MySpace is supposed to be a place for friends right? Keep it that way. Particularly those female friends of mine in the Vegas area. There are a lot of swine looking for that weekend relationship while they're here for the big trade show. They really believe those stupid commercials. You know, that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" crap. Umm, no. The clap comes and goes all the time in Vegas.

Everybody enjoy safe text. Meow.

-S.

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