by Kim Remesch

Created on: July 08, 2010   Last Updated: July 19, 2010

If you buy a television set, you'll get an operating manual written in three different languages. No such luck with parenting. The minute you go home with your newborn, you're on your own. Parenting is difficult, but survivable and rewarding. Here are a few ways to deal with typical problems:

Act as a team. Whether you have the child in a one-parent home or a two-parent home, if both parents are in the child's life, you have to get on the same page immediately. Nothing makes parenting more difficult than when the parents disagree (openly in front of the child) as to how to handle an issue. As children age, they'll learn that if they don't get the answer they like from mommy, they should run to daddy.

Act authoritatively. This is not to say you must be a strict disciplinarian; rather, just that children smell fear, so be decisive. If a child finds he can wear you down by nagging and whining, you are setting yourself up for 18 years of nagging and whining. Think out your policies (from finishing food on the plate to bedtime to curfew) before you need to. If the child wants to debate the issue, that's okay the first time. He may have valid points. Once you make those decisions, stick with that standard. If you don't, the child won't know where the line is, and that will lead to trouble for him and aggravation for you.

This, too, shall pass. Your child will not go to college wearing a diaper or carrying a bottle. You'll read lots of books and get lots of advice telling you when your child should be potty trained and weaned from a bottle. The norms  may not be true for your child. These things are averages. Keep working at it, but don't beat yourself up if your child doesn't do something as quickly as little Johnny down the street. You're not a bad parent. Make that your mantra.

Take what you read with a grain of salt. You know your child, and you'll learn early on when the child is manipulating you or if he has a genuine problem. The expert books may give you stern advice to follow to make your child tow the line, and it may be good advice for the multitude of children. It may not be right for your child. At different ages, children develop serious fears, darkness being one of them. No matter how stern your are, you will not wipe out his fear. In fact, following a stern rule may set the child back. Think how you have felt when you've been sincerely afraid of something, and treat your child accordingly. You want him to get over the fear, not make him follow

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