by Maura Clegg

Created on: March 01, 2007   Last Updated: May 15, 2007

Please allow me to stand up and tell you that I am a proud adoptive parent to a beautiful five year old girl. She came into our lives a little over a year ago, several months after we fell in love with her picture. From what I have heard dozens of families were interested in adopting her. She is a dark blonde haired beauty with no challenges. The state of Connecticut chose us to become her "forever family" and we were tickled pink. She moved in towards the end of last year and her adoption was final five months later. We were on a fast track since all her biological parents rights had already been terminated.

My daughter knows that she was adopted and that we chose her; she also knows the names of her biological parents and that they were unable to care for her. We don't berate them or say anything negative about them. There is no need to they gave us the greatest gift we could ever receive.

There are challenges, she has some behavior issues that we are at a loss to control. Mainly tantrums, and most recently telling lies about about everything.

But I think parenting an adoptive child is no different than parenting a biological child. You need to give them all the love, Patience and attention you are capable of giving.

I do think some extra attention is needed because these children are all special. My daughter had a rough start. Think about it, her biological parents had problems that were so severe that they could not care for her. I know she doesn't remember is, per se, but she knows that something happened that she is not with them anymore. She has some worries about us not loving her, or wanting to give her back to the state. Her previous foster family had told her they were going to adopt her, then changed her mind; this leaves her needing more reassurances that we love her and nothing she does can change that.

I parent her just like I would if I had given birth to her. She doesn't need to feel that she is any more different. She already knows that she was adopted and that makes her feel different enough at times.

Again, she is a normal child with normal problems. She wants to grow up to fast. She thinks she knows everything and that I know nothing. She is five - She is ours, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

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