by Elizabeth Wordsmith

Created on: July 07, 2010   Last Updated: July 09, 2010

There’s an old Yiddish adage: “Man makes plans, and God laughs.” This is most applicable to parents. It’s hard to explain all the fantasies and dreams new parents make for their unborn child and the overwhelming sense of unconditional love and adoration we have for our children once they arrive. We want so much for them, but also so much from them.  God, however, may have different ideas.  It may even seem, at times, that He has a warped sense of humor as you navigate the rocky slopes of parenthood.  You'll experience joy, frustration, satisfaction, disappointment, and all kinds of emotions.  It's a roller coaster ride with lots of surprises, some good and some not so much.

How does a parent react when a child disappoints? The most important thing is to have a sense of perspective and a memory. First of all, it’s probably normal behavior for the age. Secondly, it probably isn’t anything you didn’t do when you were a kid. It helps to have been a bad kid since you already know what to expect. Those parents who were the compliant good ones may have unpleasant surprises in store.

Next you have to have a sense of humor. You won’t survive parenting without one. Of course, you have to be careful about laughing in front of your child. He may think it’s an act to repeat for the same reaction. But you can laugh in private. I remember when one of my children showed me her crayon scribbling on her bedroom wall with great pride. How could I be mad? She was just being creative. I had to swallow my giggles and pretend to be disapproving.  Another time she dumped an entire bag of flour on the floor and was covered with it, like Casper the ghost.  I love the picture of that priceless and funny moment.  Would I want her to have made that a habit?  No.  But I could still find the humor in the moment and not over-react.  Sometimes I think I cherish those times my kids were doing something they shouldn't more than the times they were being perfect angels.

There are so many push-pull stages of development. At first they need us for everything. We have a little control over things at this stage. But kids can still be obstinate about going to bed. And they all seem to go through that stage where they like to throw things on the floor from their high chair.

They’ll go through the stage where they have to have a particular toy and make you search the entire house for

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