Did you know that you can be a victim of domestic violence even if he never touches you? I didn't. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive and threatening behaviors that can include physical, emotional, economic and sexual violence as well as intimidation, isolation and coercion. My ex used to break my things, scream in my face, beat my dog, and coerce me into submitting to sexual acts I did not want to participate in. These are all abusive behaviors.

Here are some common tactics used by abusers:
~Intimidation~ the abuser may break things, destroy property, abuse pets or display weapons. These acts show the victim what the abuser is capable of when provoked.
~Economic Abuse~ victim is denied access to family finances, must account for any money that was spent, and may be prevented from holding a job.
~Isolation~ the abuser makes it difficult or impossible to have contact with family and friends. When contact does occur, friends/family are discredited by the abuser.
~Coercion and Threats~ if children are present, they are often used as tools to manipulate. The abuser sometimes threatens to hurt himself or loved ones. He may verbally harass the victim until she submits to his will.
~Denial and Blame~ the abuser can shift blame for abusive behaviors from himself to the victim, causing her to question her morals and sanity.
~Emotional Abuse~ use of hurtful language, criticism, and insults can slowly erode the victim's self worth.

Each situation may vary widely. But all abusive relationships do share similar characteristics. *In all cases, the abuser's ultimate goal is to exert power and control over his partner.*

Learn more about this author, Marie Roe.
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