by Christine Sandor

Created on: July 04, 2010   Last Updated: July 19, 2010

Kids: You want them, you get them, and you can’t sell them on EBay! Procreation is a wonderful experience. The miracle of a human being is like no other occurrence in a person’s life. As you hold your darling infant in your arms you long for the day they will walk and talk, and then: they do. Parenting is the best and hardest job imagined. At different points a parent will wonder how it is they dislike this small person so much. They wonder what happened to that cooing, baby-powder-fresh smelling, innocent one they had held in their arms.  The good news is, your moments of not being able to stand your child are just as normal as the moments of love.

Children can and will push your buttons. It’s their job. As they grow and begin to develop their own personalities and independence they will test the limits, challenge authority, and make parents angrier than they ever dreamed they’d be at their child. It is how parents choose to handle those frustrating moments that will make all the difference for the child.

When those moments of frustration, anger and annoyance arise it is important to be prepared to handle the situation with love, guidance and understanding.  Depending on your level of anger you may need to take space before responding to the situation.  It is ok for your child to know that not only do you have strong emotions like anger and frustration but that you also know how to handle it appropriately.  Letting your child know that you are mad and you are taking space to calm down before talking to them is not only ensuring a better outcome to the situation, but it also sends the message to your child that you are choosing to respond, rather than “react.”

Stepping away from the situation is in no way “running away.”  You are simply going into another area to take some deep breaths and think about the best way to respond. Separating yourself from your child and the tense moment you are also giving them space to calm down.  If parents simply react with the heightened anger you are more likely to yell, say things you may regret saying, and in the worst case scenario loose enough control that you might physically lash out at the child.  None of the response will help and most could both escalate the situation or cause physical and emotional injury to the child.

As you “take space,” begin by taking a few deep breaths. Breathing into your diaphragm and out through

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