by Bonnie Christiano

Created on: July 03, 2010   Last Updated: July 19, 2010

Cliché as it may be, the truth is that there is no parenting manual or handbook that has all of the solutions to parenting issues.  Parenting is not easy.  In fact, it may be one of the most difficult jobs known to man.  Yes, being a parent can be extremely rewarding but what about those times when the task becomes too overwhelming?

Children are unpredictable little creatures.  In early life, there is a communication barrier that can be frustrating for both parent and child.  An infant or toddler may not have the verbal skills necessary to let mommy or daddy know when they are hungry, have a dirty diaper, are hurt, or are just plain bored.  This can lead to crying and tantrums that can grate on even the most doting parents’ nerves.  When you’ve tried everything, unsuccessfully, to calm your inconsolable baby, there are do’s and don’ts that can be followed so you can keep your cool.

Don’t yell.  This will only exacerbate the situation.  Babies don’t respond to loud, angry voices.  In the end, yelling doesn’t relieve stress and will not make you feel any better.  

Don’t shake or hit the child, ever.  Not only can this cause physical harm, but abuse of this nature can lead to emotional difficulties later in life.  Don’t let you or your child become a statistic. 

Don’t blame yourself.  Children are irrational beings.  They don’t listen to reason, nor should we expect them to.  This is all part of the development process and the movement toward independence. 

Do housework some other time.  When your home is in a state of chaos because of a crying baby and a frazzled parent, dishes and laundry can wait.  Deal with the most pressing duties, like attending to the baby’s needs and get to the rest later.

Do take a time-out.  Put the baby in a safe place, like a crib or playpen, and walk away.  You cannot be the best parent you can be when you are at your breaking point.  Take a minute to collect your thoughts and check your emotions before returning to your child. 

Do ask for help.  There is no shame in admitting that you can’t do it all on your own all of the time.  If there is someone willing to relieve you or just support you, accept the offer. 

Child rearing is an enormous responsibility.  The highs can be extremely high and the lows can be bottomless.  Remember that it is not the end of the world when your son or daughter act up.  It doesn’t make you a bad parent.  Just learn how to best handle these situations and you will make it through. 

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