by Tanis Sutter

Created on: March 01, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

You're sitting in a family restaurant, gritting your teeth as one child sings at the top of their lungs (and let's face it, a child's voice carries in public places)and the other crawls from her chair and begins running around. You attempt, to no avail, to corral your children and search for anything to amuse them as you wait for the food to arrive. The crayons hold no interest, neither does a book. Do you get up and leave with your children? Or do you just grit your teeth and grin and bear it?

Unfortunately, this scenario has happened to me more times than not. I have two wonderful little girls. One is high spirited and very curious at age five and the other is smart as a whip and also utterly curious at age eight. In most scenarios the other patrons just bantered good naturedly with me about how high spirited my children were and went back to eating their meals. Except one time. We were the only ones there, my two daughters and I, when a couple and their teenaged daughter came in and sat on the other end of the restaurant.

My older daughter finally stopped her singing and got down to coloring a picture for me while my youngest decided to explore the many breakable items on the shelves. I continuously had to get up and grab her and put her back in her seat, only to have to get up again. I would tell her no, she would fuss and make noise about it.

We've all been there (us parents I mean) at one time or another. Anyone who tells me that their children never at least once acted up in a store or other public place is lying through their teeth. Perhaps not a big fit, but there's always something. Now, as I was struggling to catch my youngest daughters attention, this woman came across the restaurant and asked if I needed help. I kindly thanked her and said no, we were just having a bad day. She went back to her table and sat back down, only to come back over about ten minutes later as I was paying the check while corralling my five year old once more.

She commenced to give me a lecture on how her family was disgusted at my child's behavior and that they had come to the restaurant for a peaceful dinner and that perhaps I shouldn't take my kids to a restaurant if they couldn't behave. I was appalled, slack jawed, and yes, near tears as I apologized to the woman and promptly left the building with kids in tow.

I know many people are well meaning when they give out advice in a store or anywhere else. And sometimes that advice is well given and worth thinking about. But when someone, in a family restaurant no worse, tells me I shouldn't bring my children out in public, I draw the line. I chose to be polite and apologize, though I doubt the woman deserved it, because I must set a good example for my children.

One thing I think people forget is that children are humans and people too. They have emotions, feelings etc. And they have bad days just as an adult does. Think of how you've been on a bad day. Sometimes we act out by being curt and short with people, other times we withdraw and stay to ourselves. Either way, we must remember children are the same way. When they get sick, they feel miserable and cranky. Don't we, as adults feel this way as well?

I take most advice and criticism with a grain of salt and continue to do things as I feel they should be done. We are all different and children are as well.

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