by David Smith

Created on: July 01, 2010

Parents that have only one child can not truly understand the impact of having a favorite.  They cannot understand the impact that it has on the parents, and they certainly cannot understand the impact that it has on the children.  There are, of course, many sides to this story, and the sides all stem from how many children are present in the family.  As mentioned earlier, parents with only one child have the ability to have a favorite child.  However, there are things that they need to know should they ever have any more children.

Having a favorite child in a household where there are only two children is often the most detrimental situation for the child that has to be the not favorite child in the family.  The parents of the children will be prone to give the favorite child more privileges and more material things.  The favorite sibling will be the child that always gets to accompany one of the parents going to the store or helping with the more enjoyable tasks around the house.  The not favorite sibling will be the child that receives the harshest treatment when he or she misbehaves, often getting more severe punishment for the same offenses for which the favorite sibling gets much less severe punishments.

In a household of three or more children, the not favorite children have a support group, of sorts, and they tend to lean on each other while distrusting the parents in the equation because they know that they are not the favorite.  In all of the families where a favorite child is evident, the not favorite child or children will act out so that they can receive some attention from the parents in the family.  It is important for parents to remember that the child that is acting up is often doing so to get some form of attention from the parents.  To the child that feels neglected, any attention from the parents is acceptable.

Another possible side effect of choosing a favorite child is that the child will search out other avenues for the attention that they need from the family.  In fact, many gangs in America tend to look for children that have lost their sense of family.  The gangs promise the child a sense of belonging to a familial unit, and they also offer the child a network of friends that they can turn to when the parents deny them the affection that they yearn for.

Another damaging affect of choosing a favorite child is the sense of superiority that the favorite sibling feels over the not favorite child.  It offers the opportunity for the favorite child to enact certain privileges over the not favorite child.  It can be something as harmless as always getting the most comfortable chair in the house to the outrageous extreme of the favorite child getting a large gift, such as a car, while the other child has to work for everything that is received.

In the end, treating the children in the family equally will give them peace of mind and stability as they enter their adult lives.

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