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Humor

Humor: Things to do in Wal-Mart

1. Destroy all of the Guitar Hero guitars where the entire store has congregated and watch the sad faces as every single customer filters out of the store.
2. Bring several blank rolls of film to be developed and curse the workers for ruining "18 weeks of sweat and tears to get these shots" loudly.
3. Somersault to Customer Support and present your complaint in song form.

4. Set up a lemonade stand in front of the checkout aisle.
5. Protest for or against abortion, take your pick.
6. Wear your Target uniform and make up names for all of the employees whom you will talk to as if you are friends with them.
7. Hide in the coat hanger racks and jump out at people.
8. Play Kids Bop loudly on a stereo outside the store and hold out a hat for tips.
9. Public nudity
10. Bring one of those fire-fans and set it down somewhere in the store, loudly exclaiming to any passerby that their lives are in danger.
11. Sell pieces of drywall to customers "in case you found the store name misleading"
12. Anything involving water balloons
13. Roller-skate
14. Public nudity
15. Destroy anything remotely resembling science in the name of Intelligent Design
16. Wait for children to walk up to a gumball machine, then step in their way and buy every last gumball and devour it.
17. Spit said gumballs at people entering the store, and then apologize profusely before doing it again.
18. Bring your pals up to re-enact Macbeth.
19. Preach the evils of glaciers and our inevitable war with them. Offer demonstrations in ice self defense.
20. Public nudity
21. Return burnt/soiled clothes
22. Stroke the fire extinguisher and refuse to allow anyone to come close to it.
23. Gather at least 27 shopping carts into a corner of the store and sit in the middle of them.
24. Eat at the in-store McDonalds (who knew?)
25. Act perfectly normal until checkout, then only talk in BREE-speak
26. Bring a small army of exotic pets, and release them.
27. Argue with the XBOX 360s during a heated demo game.
28. Insist on buying odd numbers of socks.
29. Wrap things in wrapping paper before checkout. "It doesn't cost anything. It is a gift"
30. Replace any political bumper stickers in the parking lot with stickers voicing support for the Green Party.
31. Public nudity

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