by Colene Pefley

Created on: July 01, 2010

Dealing with disobedience is part of being a parent. Even the most well behaved children will be disobedient at one time or another. Disobedience stems from a few different places. It can be a cry for attention or a sign of an underlying mental or physical problem. Children feel a need to test their boundaries, and it is important to not only be compassionate, but firm and consistent in disciplining your child.

Disobedience is frustrating for parents, and sometimes the first reaction to this problem is not the most productive. Children need guidance and understanding. When a parent overreacts or acts harshly, this confuses the child. If a parent does react out of anger, an apology is necessary.

Addressing disobedience can be tricky. There are punishments such as restriction or taking away valuable belongs of a child that may help, but sometimes these are not the best answers. Often, the root of the problem needs to be addressed before an appropriate punishment can be enforced. Figuring out the cause of the problem takes patience and persistence. Some children, especially teens and preteens, do not like to address their emotional issues. Prying is not necessarily the answer, but if disobedience Is a constant problem, consider seeking outside assistance. A teacher, pediatrician, or therapist who has seen similar situations, can help determine a course of action. Their outside view can bring valuable insight to your situation.

Disobedience is a frustrating issue that affects all parents. Asking other parents for their point of view is also an acceptable way to better understand the situation. If privacy is an issue, a parent might consider joining an online discussion group, such as the ones found at Parenting.com . These community groups allow parents to discuss various issues anonymously. This advice may not be as reliable as that of a professional or close family friend, but may be useful, provided the parent utilizes appropriate discretion when considering an anonymous stranger’s advice.

The problem of disobedience seems to be growing with each generation. There was once a time where children were respectful to adults and though disobedience was still a problem, it was not nearly as widespread as it is today. This is a quick-fix society and not all problems can be resolved so quickly. Underlying issues can become more problematic as they go undetected and aren’t dealt with properly. If typical punishment techniques are not working, it is essential that one seeks a more experienced opinion. Every situation is different and should be dealt with accordingly.

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