by Jade Li

Created on: June 30, 2010

The Steps in Breaking Up A Relationship

Everyone has the belief that you will meet the love of your life; you’ll get married, have children and grow old together. No one wants to think that there will come a time when you want, or need, to say goodbye to that person.

It can be very difficult to break up with someone that you have shared your life with for the past several months or years. You do not know what their reaction will be and how will they handle things when you say the words. Here are some things you need to do if you want to end a relationship in a civil way.

The Reasons:

Determine why you want to break up. Do this with yourself first. Give yourself time to think about why you want to break up in the first place. Is it because the spark is gone? Or is it because you feel that someone is trying to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend away? Pinpoint the main reason or reasons why you want to break up and list them. Once you are finished writing that list, modify the words written to make it less painful when you say the reasons for your breakup.

Plan Ahead:

If you have plans on breaking up with your significant other, make sure that you do it at a specific time and place. Do not do it right in front of everybody or right in the middle of some meeting. If possible, take them to a quiet place where you two can talk and break it to her. Never do this over the phone.

Keep Things Civil:

Be serious when you break up with your partner. Do not break up with someone starting with an argument or else it will only come off as something that is said in the heat of your argument and would not be taken seriously. So, when you break up with someone, do not open your conversation with an argument. Keep things civil, be serious and do not use harsh words.

Be Honest:

Honesty is still the best policy. Have the guts to tell the truth about the reasons why you want to break up with them. Save them the integrity of telling her the truth rather than lie to her about your own reasons on why you want to break up.

Be Respectful:

Being honest is different from being blunt. Never put the finger on your partner as the reason why you want to break up. It will only worsen the situation. Try keeping neutrality. Never accuse someone for the fact that they are too possessive or too bossy.

You may see yourself as the innocent one here but, clearly, you are the guilty one as far the other party is concerned. At the very least, save her all the lies and go straight for the truth. This way, you and your partner will get over it soon once both of you have accepted the fact that it is really over.

A break-up is never an easy thing to do; we don’t go into a relationship anticipating breaking up and while the steps in breaking up are not fixed, they can help you both go on with your lives with dignity and respect.

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