The death of a child. The statement alone sends chills up my spine. The statement alone can bring a tear to just about anyone's eye. Death alone is no light hearted matter. However, when speaking of a death of a child it brings the seriousness to an entirely new level. When I came across this topic it brought me back to my own childhood. I was about twelve when I lost my best friend of cancer. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Josh was about the best friend anyone could ever have. I remember getting out of school and taking walks to the town library. Setting the guinea pig free so we could watch the librarians scramble around to try and catch it. Playing baseball on separate teams and trying to hold back the laughter as Josh was about to pitch to me. I never really understood that Josh had a terminal illness. I never understood that Josh was going to die. I remember back in Elementary school they used to pull me out of class everyday and put me in this little room with a lady to discuss my feelings about Josh. Looking back now I realize that they were simply preparing me for Josh's departure from this world.

At the end of my fifth grade year. My family decided to move to New Hampshire. I fought tooth and nail all the way there. I didn't want to leave my friends. I didn't want to leave Josh. It was hard enough to see Josh out of school with all his doctors appointments. With the move it was close to impossible. Then it happened. I remember it clear as day. I came home from school and my mom sat me on the couch and told me my best friend was dead. I sat on the couch and stared blankly. I blamed myself. I moved and left Josh all alone. I left him alone to die.

The funeral was about the most surreal event I have ever experienced in my entire life. Every student from school went to the funeral. Which I found appalling since most of these kids just made fun of him every day for being different. Josh only had a handful of real friends. Everyone else treated him like dirt. I couldn't even cry at the funeral. I tried to force tears to stream down my face. They asked if anyone wanted to share memories of Josh. I couldn't do that either. I just sat there in silence. Hoping that maybe if I avoided it the whole thing would just go away.

The next several years of my life were filled with negativity to say the least. Full of fighting, suspensions, insubordination and lack of motivation. I felt

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