by Crystal Patterson

Created on: June 28, 2010   Last Updated: June 29, 2010

There comes a time when everyone must face the fact that their parents are growing older.  It is an ugly fact to life.  All our lives we can be dependent to a point on them.  The time does come when the tables turn.  It is good to honor parents and allow them to move in.  Often times the running back and forth to their house to help them becomes overbearing.  Taking care of two separate households is not easy at all.  Most people feel that to place their parent in a rest home is to let them down.  Parents need family and they raised you in their home and not an adoptive home so to speak.

It takes a lot of adjustments.  Bathrooms really need to be set up for their needs of safety and to the ease of caregivers.  This includes higher toilet seats, shower chairs, non-slip mats, rails in the shower and an extended shower head.  All these items you can usually find cheaply if you go to yard sales and to Walmart. 

In caring for your elder parent guarding against falls is one of the top priorities.  Some may require bed rails.  Cords and toys need not be strewn on floors.  Walk ways must be clear.  Safe monitoring of medications and reminders are usually needed.  Elder parents tend to get more forgetful.  If you find the many tasks of extra Dr. appointments and supplies needed and so on gets to be too much to remember keep a calender separately for that parent.  No one wants to feel negligent simply because, the mind will get overwhelmed without a system of organization.

It is important to have help at times for the care of your parent.  You still have a life to live and deserve some time to just get out. Have a family member sit with them once a week at least or pay someone a few hours.  You do need you time.  The parent doesn't want to see you stressed and feel like a helpless burden.  Many of our parents are a proud people. We must respect them and their feelings and give them the right to some kind of privacy.  I would knock on their bedroom door before entering.  They need to feel that room is their special place.  There is no higher form of honor to give a parent than the self sacrifice to bring them into your home.  People may not help much but they respect it.

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