by Bridget Webber

Created on: June 28, 2010   Last Updated: June 29, 2010

Overcoming shyness may feel like an impossibility. This is especially so if you have lived for many years with the overbearing anxiety and isolation being shy can bring. However it is possible to change from being shy, to feeling far more comfortable in social situations. This can allow you to communicate better with others, stand-up for yourself and to join in more with the rest of the world.

Communication exercises to help you overcome shyness

# Begin conversations

It can seem like an extreme idea to have to actually begin a conversation if you are shy. After-all, isn't speaking up one of the things you are afraid to do? But stop and think for a moment. Why do you often feel ill at ease when you first meet someone? Is it because the other person, who isn't as shy as you, starts talking to you, asks you a question and puts you on the spot?

Turn the usual events you encounter around by adopting a different communication style to normal. If you usually wait for a newly encountered person to speak, then feel flushed with embarrassment and anxiety when you are called to respond, take charge of the situation instead. Be the one to initiate a conversation with another person by asking them a question. Throw the ball away from your court into theirs.

Doing this will immediately give you more confidence with which to follow through with meeting new people. It will also take the heat off of you and give you some more fodder to talk about, other than concentrating on information about yourself. As you find out about other people you meet you can engage in the next communication exercise to help you on your way to becoming less shy.

# Adopt curiosity

Develop a genuine interest in other people. When talking with someone concentrate on really listening to what they say, instead of having an inward dialogue with yourself about your shyness. When you find out a little about someone use the information gleaned to help you formulate another question. Work on expanding your knowledge of other people, and they will respond favorably, being pleased that you are interested in them.

# Wear a new cloak

Previously you cloaked yourself in an emotional garment named shyness. Now it's time to think of yourself in another way, and to shed your old image. You probably can't realistically expect yourself to turn from a shy person into an outgoing and confident one over-night, but you can develop another part of your persona and become better known for it than you are for your shyness.

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