by Rob Price

Created on: June 25, 2010   Last Updated: June 26, 2010

The Tyranny Of the “Oughts” and “Shoulds”

There is a tyrant loose amongst God’s people, very shrewd and clever, thieving every ounce of personal joy possible, allowing no room for creativity and freedom. You may have spotted this tyrant, for he appears in a variety of forms: sometimes he appears as a boss demanding more out of you than you can give , even at the expense of your family's well being. Or sometimes he comes cloaked as a friend expecting you to constantly be available, or else you will suffer the loss of that friendship. Or quite possibly the tyrant is a church member or leader, who loads you down with expectations, to be right with God and the church. No matter how he appears, he always leaves you burdened down and weary.

As humans, in my experience, we are drawn towards doing activities based upon our obedience to other people, and their demands; however most of those demands are not typically followed by the person handing them out.  I have endured ruthless hours of “jumping through hoops” to be complete as a person, denying my true heart and killing my emotions.  I have listened to pastors, friends, relatives, co-workers, bosses, and my own mind telling me what I should and ought to be doing to be content. The list is endless and ultimately life stealing. Operating under the expectations of others, and or expectations of ourselves, to be acceptable and complete, we lose our heart and freedom. The reason we feel so bogged down is that we do not follow our own heart and its cravings for life; instead we follow a list of rules and regulations placed upon our lives - with blind acceptance. God did not create us to be controlled by another person’s wants and desires; instead He gives us freedom to make our own choices and live with those consequences - good or bad.

When people do not allow themselves to be open and free to enjoy personal choice and responsibility, they are operating under “the tyranny of the ought to’s and shoulds.” “I have been told to lose weight to feel better about myself, so I ought to do it.” “I have to go to church every Sunday, because my Sunday school leader told me I should.” “I have to spend more time with my friends, or they will become bored with me.” Instead of being free to make life - giving choices, we allow others to dictate what our lives SHOULD look like, and in giving over our personal freedom, we are

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