by Barbara A. Black

Created on: June 23, 2010

Falling in love isn't something you can decide to do and make happen. It isn't something you can plan. It just happens, and before you know it, you are there. You are in love. However, that does NOT mean that the person you are in love with is in love with you. If you are lucky, the same thing has happened to that person, and he/she is in love with you. If you are not lucky, you will have a broken heart.

And you CAN fall in love with more than one person, but not at the same time. If you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you, you will eventually become disheartened and discouraged, and the love will die a natural death. You see, for love to live and grow, it must be fed and watered and tended, just as plants and children must be fed and watered and tended. If plants and/or children are left to fend for themselves, they eventually will get sick and die. The same happens when love is not fed and watered; it weakens, sickens, and eventually dies.

And you can't FIND love by looking for it! You find love by being loving to those around you. When you are a loving, caring person, others will be drawn to you, and you will find the person you can fall in love with. Love is like honey; other people are attracted to a person who loves, just as bees are attracted to flowers that give out a sweet aroma.

When I married my first husband, I thought I was in love with him. I'm still not sure that I wasn't in love with him, but I do know that the love I had for him eventually died, because it wasn't fed and tended. And so I divorced him. I never planned to get married again. I wanted to be on my own, and make my own way.

However, not long after our divorce was settled, I began working on a reunion of my high school graduating class. I started getting in touch with as many members of the class as possible, and a group was formed to plan the reunion. I did a lot of the calling, and one of those calls was to one of the males in the class who had been friends with my two next-older brothers and my father. The first time I caught him on the phone, we talked over an hour. He promised to try to be at the reunion.

The rest, as the saying goes, is history. He came to the game on Friday night, and came to my house to visit after the game. We talked until after two am, and then finally said goodnight and went to bed-in two separate bedrooms! The next morning, we went for breakfast and on to the meeting. This was the first time we had seen each other since our graduation night, and had had no contact since then. When he left the reunion site, he told me it would not be 35 years before he saw me again. It took him about three weeks to get his personal life in order (he had to get his last ex-wife out of his house, for the third time), and then he called me and came to take me out to eat. A little over eight months (and at least two "I don't want to see you any more"s), we were married by a woman justice of the peace, who had gone to school with us at another school.

He is my best friend, and we still tell each other, on a daily basis, that we love each other. We try to spend a little time together, just sitting and visiting, each day. Our love has grown, and continues to grow. We do get mad at each other, but we get over it and continue to grow in love.

Falling in love wasn't something I planned to do. But it has been one of the best things I ever did!

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