by Terry Featherstone

Created on: June 22, 2010   Last Updated: July 19, 2010

All parents want their children to grow to be accomplished, skillful well-rounded adults. The temptation to over-schedule their young lives can be irresistible. So much to experience and so little time. Once they grow up, the number and magnitude of adult responsibilities conspire to steal time. The watercolors are put away, the poetry disappears, the guitar case is never opened. If our children are fortunate, they may find jobs that allow them to enjoy making a living. It behooves us to give our children as many varied experiences as possible.

Balancing academics and extracurricular activities can be a challenge in our overextended society. The first priority is academics because academic achievement opens doors to opportunity. Our children do not have to be straight-A students. Children who are doing their level best have earned the privilege of extracurricular activity. One of the most lamentable developments in American culture is the widespread acceptance of the excuse of “boredom” for underachievement, acting out or disrespect of a teacher. Boredom is one issue; misbehavior is quite another, and the two should never be conflated.

When choosing extracurricular activities, it is preferable to let the child's interests be a guide. However, if you would like to, as the cliché goes, broaden the child's horizons, parents may choose some of the activities. Just avoid making the child too busy. One or two ongoing activities is plenty. Childhood is too short for burn-out. Parents need to guard against their own burn-out due to managing the schedules of multiple children. Letting siblings share activities, such as participation in community theater, or horseback riding lessons, can save both time and stress. One child's activity time can be a perfect opportunity to devote undivided personal parent time to other children. Perhaps help one child with homework in the violin teacher's dining room while the other play “twinkles” for the teacher in the living room.

Parents often become angry or frustrated when their fickle children flit from one interest to another. To minimize the cost of fickleness, do not spend too much money at the beginning. Rent, rather than buy, the violin until the child settles into a commitment. The important thing is to buy quality supplies even at higher cost. So-called “student grade” supplies are a waste of money and frustrate the child. Quality supplies maximize the child's satisfaction and motivation

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