by Amelia Walker

Created on: June 18, 2010   Last Updated: June 19, 2010

Love makes the world go round. Or even if it doesn't, love will definitely make the person go round the world! It is such a powerful experience that people have described it as a piece of heaven. Those who haven't are searching for the love of their lives. Unknown to us, we have actually been searching for that soul mate since young even before we understood what romantic love meant!

Inside each one of us lies a love map. This forms early on during the child's development and believe it or not you already know what characteristics or features you want in your partner as a child. As toddlers, we are very vulnerable creatures prone to the slightest problems. We require support for food, shelter, clothes and most of all love. The immediate family members and neighbouring adults are the main ones to fulfil this need of ours and we feel most secure in their presence. Unknowingly, we develop a liking for the characteristics present in the caretakers of the opposite gender; most likely parents. Thus a daughter grows up looking for someone similar to their fathers and a son grows up looking for a mother.

Of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our "love map" - a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it's the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.
  quote: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/why-we-love-who-we- love/article15357.html

Later on in our adult years, we fall for people who fit in with this love map. This can explain the phenomenon of love at first sight. It doesn't have to be physical features; it can be the smell, the way a person walks,  the mannerism or just that something that strikes a cord on our love map. However, this is temporary. It gets us interested enough to approach the person, build some kind of friendship and caves the way for any future possibilities. Whether we will eventually fall into genuine love with this person will be determined by the quality of interaction, mutual liking and a whole list of other factors. So love is quite complicated business.  It is a wonder so many manage to make it to the alter each year.

This is also the reason why children born in unhappy families grow up to later be in unhappy marriages. Our upbringing determines how we view the opposite sex. If the mother is warm and friendly and showered the son with abundant love, he will grow up to have this positive impression of all women and will themselves be warm and caring lovers. If the father was dominating and irresponsible, daughters will grow up to be unconsciously attracted to such domineering personalities which may spell doom for their marriages. On the other hand if the father had been supportive of his daughters, she will have a sense of security among men and love men in general, and this positive attitude is craved in all men. Thus parents have a very significant role in the physical, mental, emotional and even the romantic development of their off springs.

Now dont use this as an excuse to reject the next guy who proposes to you, "you dont look like my father!". Give every approach a chance and see what you may discover?

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