by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: June 16, 2010

Death is not kind to the living. The shock that occurs at the moment of a loved one's death brings our life to a seemingly abrupt halt. Whether or not the death is expected, we each experience shock in varying degrees. Numbness takes over allowing the living to proceed with daily 'musts" while the mind and soul attempt process the death. What was most likely a calm environment is suddenly thrust into turmoil. Trying to make sense of it all is next to impossible. Your loss feels like a wound that will never heal.

Depending upon where the death occurs, there are police, ambulance, firefighters, medical examiner and family and friends seemingly hounding you for information. Initially, the police must fill out a report. The information requested by police will also be asked by the medical examiner. It becomes an irritating and frustrating task. All you want to do is be along to grieve and make sense of what just occurred. Instead, after answer the officials, family and friends begin to flock to you for information and to console and assist you.

Then, there is the funeral home to contact. Unless arrangements were previously made by the deceased individual, you will be inundated with endless decisions. Will there be a casket or an urn? If so, there are a variety from which to choose. Don't be surprised if you experience an out-of-body sensation during this task. It's your body's way of dealing with the extremely stressful situation into which you have been thrust.

Next, will there be a church service? If so, where? When you contact the clergy, the service will need to be planned. Do you want music? Do you want the usual church staff to provide it or do you have others who can do so? Who will perform the readings? Who will serve as ushers and carry the casket? Should a memorial be held instead of a church service, it can be put off a little longer. Some of the same questions will be asked of you.

Certainly, you'll want to notify your loved one's attorney and search for a copy of any Last Will and Testament that may have been produced. The attorney will guide provide you with additional suggestions for contacts to be made and procedures to follow.

In addition to the immediate concerns revolving around the deceased's body, there are the legal matters to also be addressed. Following the contact of the employer and the insurance company, any debtors including car loans, car insurance and the like should be notified. The task of going through a loved one's

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