by Amy Muhs

Created on: June 16, 2010

Here I go again. Feeling those same feelings again. Scared to be alone, but don't want to be touched.  See, I've had this dream, for my whole damn life.  I'll go to my grave wanting this one thing.  I can't even describe it, it takes over me, it IS me.

I don't know who this is, that's taken over my body, but it's been here far too long now.  I need an exorcism.  I need peace within my soul, as well as others souls... All I see is pain, in myself and those around me.  My gift of life has been wasted thus far. But here I go again.  I'm going to get it this time!  No one's going to keep me down!  Not even myself...

And as I sit on this old plaid couch with holes in both my arms, I know, I have escaped my self torture.  Stay strong! Keep fighting!  It will all be over soon....

And all my memories, they're all coming back now, walking the streets of Boston,MA, from bar to bar as the life of the party. I had it all.  And I watched it slip away from right under my stubby fingers.  But I will.  I will make it better.

And this scar I have will forever remind me of all the pain and suffering I've endured. But I did.  I overcame it!

SO why is it, I still can not find my own happiness?  The happiness I should have deep inside.

And as I sit here still engulfed in this old plaid couch, writing about it. But it makes no sense to me.  If I keep saying I'm happy....the Universe should hear me! Or, maybe there's a line.  I wouldn't be surprised in this world today.

And today, I will be okay, Just fine.

The Sun is shining!  But this time it's different because I can finally appreciate it!  The smile on my face is finally real and I just can't explain it!  Now it's true, I know what true happiness is and I've found it within myself.  Oh and I've been waiting my whole life for it all to just make sense.  And I will fight every single battle as if it were my last. I will not give in and finally I can be free. And Me.  This is my happiness. I'm finally back to the girl I was before all the downfalls and nightmares. I have a now found my dreams.

I'm a soul survivor. I've been down all the dark streets but I'd prefer the brighter ones, because I'm happy.

When the music starts to play all my madness goes away because it's soothing.

And as my body starts to move and I get into my groove I am weightless.

I'd rater dance alone so get going on your own it's more attractive.

And no matter where you are you must believe you are a star shining brightly.

And as my body moves around I can hear those precious sounds and I feel free.

Because I'm a soul survivor.  I've been down all the dark streets but I'd prefer the brighter ones because I'm happy.

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