by Shannon Lawrence

Created on: June 15, 2010

Tips for Toddlers: How to cope with a new sibling

Toddler-hood is a hard time on toddlers and parents alike, as is bringing a new baby home.  Add these two things together, and you have some work cut out for you.  Don’t worry, though, as all it takes is some advanced planning and forethought to make bringing a new sibling into a home with a toddler as seamless as possible.

The first thing to do is to prepare your toddler for what is coming.  If you are pregnant, that gives your toddler a visual until the awaited arrival of their new sibling.  Explain what is happening to them.  There are many good pregnancy trackers online that will tell you what the baby has now—baby has fingernails now, baby has a heartbeat, baby has hair—and these are perfect to share with your toddler so that they may experience the excitement and joy of your pregnancy with you, and hear how their little sibling is being built special just for your family!  In addition, once baby can be felt moving and kicking, let your toddler feel it.  Encourage them to talk to the baby in your “tummy” and sing to them.

Another great resource is big brother/big sister books.  There are many books out there about becoming a new big brother or sister.  Go to the children’s section of your library and browse with your child; find the book or books your toddler enjoys the most, and that represent your situation best.  Read this book to them any time they request it.  A good book will share a little bit of the negative (mommy and daddy spend time with the baby, perhaps) and a little bit of the positive (someone to play with when they get bigger).  Chances are, a good big sibling book will be requested even long after the new baby arrives.

Don’t sugar coat or deceive your toddler.  Gently explain that sometimes you will have to spend time taking care of the baby instead of playing, but that you will always find time to read, play and do special things with your toddler, too.  Tell them you are going to need them to be a big boy or girl and help you with the baby, and how you know how great they will be at it; give them examples of what they can help you with (i.e. getting diapers, picking clothes, entertaining baby, etc.).

Have your toddler help get the baby’s room or area ready.  Fold the baby’s new clothes and encourage your toddler to put them away.  Let them help fold blankets

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