by Chrystina Trulove-Reyes

Created on: June 12, 2010

A father should definitely have a say in whether a child he helped create should be aborted. There are only a few situations where I believe that the father should not have a say. But otherwise, I feel that it takes two people to create a baby, and both people should have a say in what happens to it. Yeah, the mother has to carry the child to full term. But it still took both parties to create the baby.

Of the situations where the father should not have a say, the first is if he does drugs or drinks excessively. Now, I don't mean the man who, the moment he finds out he’s going to be a dad, goes to rehab or tries to get help for his dependency. I'm talking about the one who keeps doing it after learning about the coming child. This is a man who cares more about himself than the child. Chances are, if it came to a choice between food for the child and drugs for the father, he would choose the drugs.

Another reason that the father shouldn’t be consulted is if he is violent. Violence breeds violence. Let’s say for a moment, that the mother already has several kids, but the father never touches them. He chooses instead to hit on her. I hate to tell you this, but sooner or later, his anger will turn to the children, even his own. It would be best if he wasn’t informed of the pregnancy or decision.

If the father cannot be found or is dead, then he can’t add his thoughts to the already teeming mass of the mother’s.

The child is the creation of a rape or molestation. The father, in my opinion, automatically loses the right to have an input on a child once he rapes someone. This includes the father who rapes someone other than the mother, or molests someone else. He shouldn’t be allowed to have children at that point.

The father shouldn’t have a say if he spends a majority of his time in jail. Or is involved in illegal activities. Take for instance this example:

The father is dealing in Grand Theft Auto. He claims that he wants the child, while the mother does not. She decides to be fair and carries the baby full – term. Only the father becomes arrested shortly after the birth, and the mother is left with a child she does not want.

Finally, the father vetoes the right to what happens to the child. In effect, he says he is ok with whatever the mother wants to do. Then the father cannot later demand for the mother to carry the baby full term. (Be sure to get it in writing though, in case he decides to cause problems later.)

Though there are many reasons for a mother to not want the father to have an opinion of what happens to the baby, she isn’t the only one who created it. Yes, it’s her body. But if she aborts the child without informing the father, then she is committing an act of complete selfishness. It doesn’t matter if the mother and father don't get along. He still has the right to decide if he wants to try and raise the child himself or not.

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