by Monic Arymami

Created on: June 12, 2010

Today, is my birthday.

What does a birthday mean? Meaning, I'm certain would always shifts, just like any other cultural values. There would be a period where the moment is no longer a heart thumping experience awaiting of its arrival.. somehow it would just fade into one ordinary day. I'm not very sure for others but at least in my case. Apparently my age stopped at the number 25. The years that followed seemed to just disappear. If anyone asks my age.. my automatic answer would be 25. Though moment of awareness frequently arise, such as times flashing through vacancies in the newspaper mentioning age criteria. Apparently acknowledging that I am in another set of generation.

Now, as the numbers approach 30, I'm no longer halting at 25. And yes! just like many other women, approaching "the big three", it feels like a jump down sharp rocks bottom cliff. (And this is more so when we group along with people the same age .. trust me peer group does effect). There are so many things that suddenly comes to worry; body, relationships, body, economy, body, sex, wrinkles, fat, success, body.. I'm sure you get my point.
 
Does that effect me? Definitely! As if cursed amid chatter of "30 hysteria", I began to pay attention to every inch of my face and body. Wrinkles. Fat. Shape. Time to buy those promising age cream.. and .. * I have to get back in shape *..  regardless the fact that sport is important. A sudden need of something more energetic and quick urged.

And so, an afternoon, I found myself in a mirrored room with loud music. There was a slight notch of nervousness, but nonetheless it used to be my daily activity once - aerobics. The music thumped and the instructor shouted in encouragement. After 10 minutes, the movement has changed from 5 to7 forms. Once I got a movement going it changes. I was having a hard time keeping up. The music tempo was like being chased by dogs and i was lacking for breath, my heart felt it would burst anytime. This was Torture. I looked around and all i saw was women without expression, somehow robot like in an orderly movement with sweat streaming down. I felt the urge to laugh.. more at my self than any other. Wondering how they can enjoy this torture.  I should just stick to yoga and pilates, a whole lot more fun and peaceful. Well, after several times still in effort to follow that inhumane sport, I finally gave up and chose to get some body treatments below. (Aerobic location is above a salon and spa) .. and it turns

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