by Rebecca K.

Created on: June 11, 2010   Last Updated: June 12, 2010

Are parents who scream out of control? Well that is like asking if a driver with a car in a ditch was in control- obviously not. Granted children will try your patience, they can drive you to the brink one minute and then do something so cute, it can melt your heart the next. That is the joy of parenting. The responsibility of parenting however, is finding creative and tactful ways to guide and educate your children without creating hostility, or fear. Simple right?

Again- obviously not. As a mother of nearly three year old boy and a seven month old baby girl, I can say I've been there with you guys. I've been tired, frustrated, confused, worried- you name it. Have I yelled at my kids? Unfortunately yes, at my son and I've found it highly ineffective. Sure there are times when he's running across the yard at mach one toward the road and yelling is in order, most of the time using a stern tone of voice works or by warning him first.

Most kids do want to please us for positive attention. Many times they act up for attention, even negative attention is better than none. Giving a child attention can be so simple as, asking him/her what she's doing when they're playing quietly. This can spark conversation and some funny sentences as well. It's easy to get caught up watching tv or online, so it's important to realize your kids need to feel important.

We as parents don't want to become yellers, do we? The louder we yell the less children will respond over time, they will simply tune you out. I think the key is to start various warning techniques. State what you want, such as: Johnny, come here please. If he ignores you and continues to run away count, ONE.....TWO.....and by three, walk over and go get him (provided he is not in immediate danger). Eventually your child will associate counting as a warning with a following action. I am working on this right now with my son.

Screaming is just not a good way to communicate with anyone, especially kids. It gets everyone all stressed out, you, the kids and anyone within earshot. Sometimes a firm voice is needed and you may need to yell, but that should be reserved for serious situations only. Instead of screaming, try warning the child and following up with an action. It is easier said than done, but ultimately for the best. At least that's what my opinion is anyway.

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