by Lenna Gonya

Created on: June 11, 2010

After 40 or 50 years of marriage, people may comment on the fact that grandma and grandpa were made for each other. They finish each other’s sentences, know what the other person is thinking before they say anything, and have even begun to look, talk and act alike. Were they destined to be together? Were they “soul mates” who found each other out of the millions of people in the world? Probably not. If there is such a thing as a “soul mate”, they are created over time.

Couples who start out their relationships with wine, roses, romance, and good times, and carry this blindingly romantic notion into their marriage, are often met with reality that causes things to go south, fast. Grandma and grandpa have the advantage. They probably had never heard the phrase, “soul mates”, so they weren’t’ expecting a magic formula to keep them together and happy throughout their lives.

In the romantic novels and movies, soul mates are two people who are traditionally connected on some deep, spiritual, emotional and physical level that makes them compatible. Out of the billions of people in the world, karma draws them together, across a crowded room. This is a lovely, romantic concept that dates back thousands of years. We grow up with it, and the phrase that ends fairy tales, “and they lived happily ever after.”

Grandma and grandpa weren’t expecting a bed of roses, and the reason that they are still together is more hard work than fate. Not that they don’t love each other deeply, and are devoted partners. If they are lucky, they still have romance in their lives, but it takes more than that. Even the deepest and most romantic love is not enough to keep two people together through the years. There is tolerance involved, and sacrifice. There is thinking more of your partner’s health and welfare than your own. And, there is the understanding and cooperation that only comes with time.

There are hard times, even between the best of couples, financial problems, illness, death in the family, disputes, disagreements, and disappointments. Of course, all of these are interspersed with some good times too.

If you stick with it, in spite of your partner’s obvious faults, and inability to meet your own high standards, and you survive all of the tragedies and traumas that life can throw at you through the years, then you may actually have a “soul mate” at the end of the road.

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