by Amanda Kringle

Created on: June 11, 2010   Last Updated: September 20, 2010

You hate your ex. Now that you have disocvered that little fact how should you handle it? When one gets divorced its very hard to over come the bitterness and anger that the spouse has caused. Its important to realize that if you allow your hatred to go unchecked, it will consume you and control your life. Its unhealthy for you and for your kids. It will not allow you to move on to healthy relationships and it will prohibit your children from having healthy relationships as well.

 It seems so easy to talk about it doesn't it? However letting your hate go is often a lot easier said then done. There are a few things that you can do to help yourslef heal and move forward without comletely hating your ex.

1. Admit Your Hatred. This may sound like a joke, but the best thing that you can do is to first admit to yourself that you are angry and that you hate your ex. Trying to fool yourself won't help anything. All it will do is sit inside you and cause you to become unhappy and bitter. 

2. Talk To Your Ex. Once you have admitted to your self that you have hatred in your heart, then admit it to your ex. Do not be vindictive about it, just be honest. You need to have a conversation with your ex about the hurt that he or she caused you. Talk about circumstances that made you feel this way and explain that you are getting it all out into the open because you need to move on.

3. Talk To Some One. Many people need professional help to let go of their anger. If you feel that you cannot let it go by yourself, then do not be afraid to contact someone for help. Its okay to feel devastated and angry, a professional will be able to help you deal with your hatred in a safe way that will allow you to move on with your life.

4. Channel It Creatively. There are many different ways in which we as humans channel our emotions. It is very important that you find one that allows you to clear your head and work through what you are feeling. For instance, art, music, sports, writing or anything else that you love is a good way to channel your aggression. It all depends on you.

5. Spiritual Help. Are you religious? Many people find prayer and church services a big help to their spirits and emotions. Your pastor or counselor could greatly help you in finding ways to release that hatred and move on with your life. 

The steps above are suggestions that may help you work through your hatred. You must find what works best for you and implement it into your life. Its important that you have a way to let it go or it could end up seriously hurting you.

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