by Russ Austin

Created on: June 11, 2010   Last Updated: June 14, 2010

When I was involved in my 1996/1997 writing sessions, I wrote quite a bit about my case of Friedreich's Ataxia (FA).  That's the progressive and degenerative neuro-muscular disorder that I had and have, and has no proven treatment or cure.  At the time I thought writing about Friedreich's Ataxia would, in some way, help. Writing about FA was a way to cope with FA.  I think it still is.

At the time of my writing sessions, I also had Hypothroidism and was a part-time wheelchair-user since February 1996.  Now, in addition to Hypothyroidism, I have Keinboch's Disease in my left wrist, Dysphagia, Sleep Apnea, Diabetes and BPH.  I've also been in a wheelchair full-time since February 1998.

I was angry and depressed about having FA then, and I'm not too happy about it now!

On the National Ataxia Foundation's website (www.ataxia.org), they point out "The word "ataxia", comes from the Greek word, "a taxis" meaning "without order" or "incoordination". The word ataxia means without coordination. People with ataxia have problems with coordination because parts of the nervous system that control movement and balance are affected. 

Ataxia may affect the fingers, hands, arms, legs, body, speech, and eye movements. The word ataxia is often used to describe a symptom of incoordination which can be associated with infections, injuries, other diseases, or degenerative changes in the central nervous system. 

Ataxia is also used to denote a group of specific degenerative diseases of the nervous system called the hereditary and sporadic ataxias which are the National Ataxia Foundation's primary emphases."

Below the dotted line is the introduction to a piece called "Ramblings of a Lost Fool" from those 1996/1997 writing sessions.  I strung together some words and sentences I had scribbled down on various pieces of paper about all sorts of things.  I guess you can say they came from the point-of-view of an angst-ridden 20something who felt tortured by his fate.  How could I not be?

What I wrote in the 90s seems kind of weird to me now, but I still want understanding and to open doors of perception.  What will you allow and how will you cope?...

I'll comment further at the end of this piece.  Enjoy!

-Ramblings of a Lost Fool

I don`t want to go around pretending to be happy when I`m not. I`m not going to play the role of a "happy cripple" just to make other people feel better about themselves. I`ve got

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