by The Real American

Created on: June 10, 2010

Depending upon the stage of the relationship, a mature observance of the various “Red Flags” can be quite beneficial to both of the parties involved. Although there may be some overlaps between them, the rules governing Dating and Marriage are largely divergent. This is due to the fundamentally underlying natures of these two differing relational arrangements.

In the relational realm of dating, the implied objective is to either: determine whether a prospective partner is suitable for marriage, or [merely] to enjoy each others company and have fun. Since such relationships are entered into without expectations of significant consequence, they are [usually] easy to get out of in a hurry. Thus, the observance of Red Flags can be viewed as valuable signs to largely move on.

These may include:

1.) How does your partner treat others? This is particularly true of his or her closest: family members, friends, and associates. Although you may [often] expect he or she to treat you well, while dating – once the newness is gone, they will often treat you like one of those family members, friends, or associates.

2.) Do they have an: Unreasonably Jealous, Controlling, Manipulative, or Abusive Personality? This can often be hard to spot early on in a relationship. However, by watching for subtle clues in their personal interactions and getting to know their friends, it can be readily determined.

3.) Do they possess the same or fundamentally similar: Ideals, Goals, Objectives, and Personal Desires? One can be easily attracted to opposites, but it virtually impossible to have a long term and stable relationship with one. If you are merely looking for a “booty call,” then this flag isn’t nearly as important. However, you must bear in mind, even booty calls generate very strong emotions - which will frequently ratchet up your inevitable intentions.

4.) Are they excessively moody and often subjective to unexpected, or profound, personality changes? Roller coasters may be exciting, but it will frequently make one physically, or emotionally, ill to remain on one indefinitely. Those who are prone to excessive drama also fall under this category.

5.) Do they frequently take you for granted, or [even seemingly] sometimes go out of the way to avoid you? Although this may be a commonly used technique to further entice you, if it is excessively occurring – then you should probably take the hint now.

All of these “Red Flags,” while dating, are deal breakers for those who are seriously contemplating marriage. Moreover, they cannot be lightly ignored – either - while just looking for short-term companionship or fun. Although you may clearly disregard them, it will invariably at your own situational and emotional expense. I would advise you to strongly consider this advice.

Whereas, in the realm of marriage, the most important objective is in: maintaining, fostering, and nurturing the already ongoing relationship. This is for reasons of: familial stability, spiritual growth, and emotional happiness - for all of the individuals thoroughly involved. Moreover, the additional needs of children make this of tremendous importance to the home. After all, they are substantially trapped within your home, for better or worse… and the two of you, ultimately determine whether it will be “Heaven,” or “Hell.”

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