by M. Lee

Created on: June 10, 2010

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

Do you love zombies or fear them?  Are you ready for when everyone you know becomes infected with a mutated virus that transforms them into brain-eating, bloodthirsty monsters?  Well, if you’re up nights worrying about how to survive a zombie apocalypse you are not alone. 

When the night of the living dead becomes a reality, and you know it will, you have got to be prepared.  Whether you’re plagued with super-fast, vicious creatures filled with rage or slow, stupid hungry-for-human-flesh zombies, you’ll need to know how to handle the situation.  As long as you are prepared, you should survive to live another day.

1 – Get the Low-Down

You need to stay informed.  It’s never a good idea to hole yourself up into a closed pub or hide out in the country, unless of course there are no zombies!  What you need to do is watch the news.  Listen the radio.  Keep your ears open for news of safe zones and what survivors should do.  Of course, this will only work if you and your dog aren’t the only survivors.   

2 – Stock Up

Get plenty of everything.  You’ll need everything you can get your hands on for survival.  Stock up on water, canned food, batteries, bandages, toilet paper, and beer.  You’ve survived long enough to need a stockpile so it’s clear you know what to do with the food and water.  But, make sure you have batteries for the radio.  And you’ll need the beer for those boring, lonely nights locked in your apartment…err, fortress.

3 – Keep Your Distance

The zombie virus is spreading, so you will want to avoid heavily populated areas.  Whether it’s a virus or a supernatural phenomenon, it doesn’t matter.  Densely populated areas will increase your chances of becoming infected, or eaten. 

4 – Get Help

If civilization hasn’t collapsed completely, seek out the military or police.  They will have armed protection and a safe place to survive.  Just make sure they can identify themselves with more than a grunt to ensure they won’t eat your brain.

5 – Learn to Kick Zombie Ass

If you know how to shoot a gun already; awesome!  If you know how to wield a sword like a samurai; even better!  If you don’t, you better learn fast.  Most zombies will be dropped with a quick shot to the head.  Don’t waste your time on the body shots, it only pisses them off.  Self-defense is also a good idea during apocalyptic times in case you run into undesirable survivors.

You can survive a zombie apocalypse.  If you don’t it’s probably your own fault for poor planning and ignorance.  Just make sure you have plenty of nonperishable food, firearms, ammunition, swords, medical supplies, and maybe even a machete.  Stay alert, have an exit plan.  Oh, and stay away from cemeteries and morgues.

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