by Eileen Norman

Created on: June 09, 2010   Last Updated: June 13, 2010

The Gifts of Age

On the outside; a short, obese, elderly woman on a walker, challenging others in similar condition to a race in grocery stores and to consider themselves armed and dangerous.

Once a dreamer living in the land of theories and wonderful possibilities; now, forced to face reality by circumstances and limitations, becoming more pragmatic.

Once danced in sheer joy at the awesomeness of God while reading “The Wellsprings of Life,” Asimov’s book describing scientifically the beauty, complexity, and order of the evolution of His universe. Still dancing in imagination when recognizing the footprints of God in daily life.

Freed in middle age of a lifelong need to please everyone; now outspoken, assertive -  sometimes confrontive, often funny, but also raunchy.

Humbled into self honesty not only by facing personal failures, but by realizing that even virtues have a self serving element.

Lived long enough and failed enough to become reluctant to judge others.

Time to focus outwardly on others: soup for the sick, rides to doctors, lunch out for the lonely, cards and flowers for the discouraged, affirmation and support of others’ gifts, tutoring grandchildren and great grands, taking them on outings to museums, plays, and playgrounds, praying for everyone - even unknown people in grocery stores and on the highway.

Though inside, lingering still, the blithe young woman dancing through life butterfly like,always anticipating the flower in the next garden, sampling, even savoring, but never settling, like "Annie," living for tomorrow, forgetting that tomorrow never comes.

Learning that if Jesus "was made perfect by suffering," (Heb 2:10) then suffering is not punishment, but God's refining process; in fact, the cross is the only door to eternal life.

Now, haunted by the feeling that most of life has been dribbled away in trivial pursuits, finally learning to persevere even through failure.   

Belatedly, perhaps too late, trying to discern how to focus dwindling energies to make the most of the present moment.

Wanting to become more articulate and focused on sharing the unconditional love of God expressed in Jesus, because though acts of kindness are important, they are like bandaids. Only Jesus is our healing Saviour.

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