by Alex Weir

Created on: June 09, 2010   Last Updated: June 12, 2010

Many people see self-harm as a sign of attention especially when teenagers cut, I was in the same position. I started when I was 13 and found it hard to cope with day to day life. Self-harm is a method to calm yourself, relief yourself from the stress, pain and hurt of what may happen within a person's life.

Self-harm may be a source of attention, but most of the time it is a way to deal with pain. If a teenager cuts, then there must be something wrong be them at school, friendships, relationships or family. Self-harm once used becomes an addiction, the relief from the pain is so intense, that you eventually can't get enough. The same amount doesn't work anymore and so you need to keep raising the bar of how much damage you do to yourself to get the same relief even for a second. If you are a worried parent or guardian, all you can do is talk to the person who is causing harm to themselves and let them feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Taking them to therapy is one of the worst decisions you can make in my own opinion, they don't want to talk to someone they don't know. I understand how it feels to be that lost and out of control and putting a therapist who is going to judge you is not the solution. And never tell the teachers at a school to keep an eye on your son/daughter, more than likely they will tell their classmates because they want everyone to be nice to the person who is hurting. If ever self-harming got out into the teenagers school, they would be rejected and laughed at. The term commonly used is "emo", which then escalates from name calling to trying to pull up their sleeves.

Self harm is common, probably more common then you think. I know so many people who have self harmed and can name at least 20 of the top of my head. It's a way of coping with pain and grief which gives a sudden burst of calmness. When I was angry and hurt, I would cut my skin and feel myself calm down enough to think about what I needed to do. Once you start self harming and become heavily into it, it is very hard to stop. It's an addiction, something a bit like smoking. Once you quit it's always in the back of your head that you need that burst again. Just sit down and talk to the person involved, don't make them show you though that's one way to lose their confidence and trust, you have to break it down gently. One slip and you could never get anything out of them again.

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