by Heidi Peaster

Created on: June 06, 2010

In times past, most extended families lived close to each other and kids were raised to know how to relate to their older relatives.  Some families were lucky enough to have Grandma or Grandpa live in the same household so that children knew exactly how to act around their elders.  These days, however, some of us only see older people at rare intervals and it sometimes seems as if none of us talk the same language.  Here are some things to remember in trying to relate to older people.

*Be respectful.  There is nothing so irritating as a young person speaking to an elderly person in an offhand way.  In the south, we were always taught to say yes, ma’am, and no, sir, and, if we slip up on this with an older person, it immediately puts that older person’s teeth on edge.  Be cognizant of what region of the country you are in and adjust your speaking accordingly.

*Be patient.  Many older people have health and/or hearing issues.  Observe the volume at which other people address the older person before you speak to them, if possible, and if you need to raise your voice, do so.  On the other hand, if they hear perfectly well and you raise your voice, you will sound as if you are shouting at them.

Many older people have health issues that may make them irritable for what may seem no good reason.  You may need to be more willing to let some hurtful comments go by.  You may need to be more understanding of flares of temper or moodiness.  It may be that not only are you not the object of their anger, they may not even remember it in a few minutes.

*Be helpful.  Find what the older person may need to have done that you can assist with.  As infirmities increase, elderly people may need something as mundane as someone to move some boxes, or run an errand, or help plant their garden.  Being available to be called upon and having a willing, cheerful attitude will make them happy to have you around.

*Be consistant.  A telephone call every so often just to see how an elderly person is doing will let them know that you care and also is a comfort to them that someone is looking out for them.  Let this be a regular thing, don’t call every few days and then not bother for months.  Many older people simply need someone to talk to for a few minutes to make their day perk up.

Also call or stop by if there is a power outage or extremes in temperature.  Checking up on the

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