by Heidi Peaster

Created on: June 06, 2010

I gave birth to our three daughters back in the stone age when natural childbirth was so new, the nurse thought I meant I wanted a spinal block when I told her I wanted to be “awake”.   I will tell you that my husband knew unequivocally that he sure was going to dad-burn be there when I delivered.  And he was.  He held up quite nicely, thank you.  For those who have not gone through this yet, but are just as positive that Dad needs to be present, here are some things we learned.

* Realize your husband’s weaknesses.  If your husband is the type who really, truly faints at the sight of an IV or when he gets a hangnail, now may not be the time to force him into a delivery room.  You don’t need the stress of a conflict over the whole thing, or the stress of wondering if he is going to pass out at the crucial moment.  After all, the main thing is to have a healthy baby, healthy mother, and as comfortable a birth as possible.  For everybody.

* Realize, too, that hospitals are usually very flexible about who is in the delivery room and for how long.  If your husband wants to give it a try and then finds himself fading, he can go out for a breath of fresh air or sit down with his head between his knees if it comes to that.  It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. 

However, if you are to have a C-section, or if you suddenly need to have an emergency intervention, your husband will likely have to make up his mind on the spot and stick with it.  It’s a good idea for the two of you to have a heart-to-heart talk about that possibility and make some firm decisions.

* Both of you need to take childbirth classes.  At the very least, you both need to read up on what delivery will be like, watch some uncut videos of the real thing, and realize how graphic it all is.  You will both need to have an idea of what you will need during labor to be able to cope, and also realize the medication options that are available.  Childbirth classes address all this, and are worthwhile taking.

 * Your husband will need to remember things to take to the hospital.  You will be packed, of course, but he will need to remember the pillows off the bed and whatever else you two have decided that will make you more comfortable.  You will be in labor and you will probably forget things.

* You may sail right through labor, but more than likely, there will be a time during it

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