by Deborah Close

Created on: June 05, 2010

According to Webster's New World College Dictionary Forgive is "1. to give up resentment against the desire to punish, stop being angry with, pardon. 2. To give up all claim to punish or exact penalty for an offense".

Sounds so simple, yet so hard to do. How do you forgive a wrong or hurt that someone has done to you? What I have come to learn and understand about forgiving is that when you forgive this does not mean you have to forget and it does not mean you have to become or remain friends with the person who has hurt you. When I finally understood this I was able to finally release my pint up anger towards a lot of people.

One particular incident is still fresh on my mind and in my heart because it involved someone I thought was a friend and my baby boy.  I entrusted my son, who was then 3 years old, to this person two days a week, while another family member watched him the other three days. I found a win-win-win solution. Or so I thought. She needed extra money, my family member needed a break, and I needed someone to watch him. All the day care centers were full or would not take a part time child.

After about two or three weeks had passed, I found out the babysitter was on anti-depression medication and bi-polar medication. She promised me she was fine and able to continue care for my son. I was scared but didn't know what else to do. I started to notice when I picked my son up his attitude was different. He was becoming hostile and mean tempered. Finally he let it slip that the babysitter and her husband were telling him that he was mean and putting him in time-out all the time. The day I was going to confront her about this is a day I will never forget.

I'm at work and the phone rings. I happen to be the one to answer. The man on the other end was the Director of Department of Human Resources. When you get a call from DHR it is not good. They handle the children of abusive, neglected, and endangered environment situations.  The director was actually calling to get another phone number when he asked if I knew Deborah Close. I said "that's me". He then proceeded to tell me he has my child in his office. My heart stopped. I asked which child? When he told me my youngest son's name I couldn't breathe.

My son was supposed to have been taking a nap at the babysitter's. He did sleep for a little while but she fell asleep too. He woke up missing and wanting me so he decided he wanted to go home. He got his boots on, his jacket, and his car booster

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