by Krystle Hernandez

Created on: June 03, 2010

Human beings are uniquely individual by nature.  No two people have the same combination of life experiences and more often than not, individuals perceive similar life experiences differently.  Moreover, an individual’s conscious perception of and reaction to events that have transpired over the course of his or her life can be difficult to share with another person who may see things in a starkly different way.

Consequently, it is often the case when two people communicate - whether it is a long, serious, and deep conversation or the ‘small talk’ and ‘chit chat’ of everyday life- misunderstandings and disagreements do arise.  So, what do you do when you are involved in a discussion with someone else and you feel that you’re right but they’re not wrong?

This question is perhaps best answered by looking at a context where there is often no “right” and “wrong” answer, but where “winning” an argument is largely based on one side’s ability to communicate effectively: the courtroom.  Trial attorneys, for example, are faced with this complex question virtually every day.  An effective attorney sets out to advocate, to the best of his or her abilities, for his/her client’s perspective.  Even if an attorney is not 100% certain that his client is “right” or “innocent” he is legally obligated to (at the very least) attempt to make a convincing argument that the client IS right or innocent.  Thus, lawyers often find themselves pitted against opposing counsel who is not entirely “wrong” as well. 

Although many lawyers are frequently criticized or stereotyped as being devious and conniving in order to win a case, individuals can learn a great deal about communication, arguing, and disagreeing gracefully from attorneys.  It may seem counterintuitive to treat every disagreement like a courtroom argument, but if you keep the following suggestions in mind, you may find yourself becoming a more effective communicator.

1.  Listen to your opponent.  When lawyers are in the midst of a heated trial, there are few things more important than good listening skills.  While opposing counsel is presenting his or her argument, it is crucial that an attorney hone in on key facts and seemingly minute details that could make or break a case.  Some arguments completely fall apart when one fact is disproved. 

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