by Amanda Price

Created on: June 03, 2010   Last Updated: June 08, 2010

You're a husband, so clearly your wife chose you out of all the possible choices, and thus eliminated her choice of a partner completely hoping that she made the right one in you - and that is something you should both understand and appreciate before thinking too hard into the subject.

The key to maintaining a good and healthy partnership with your wife is simply to be consistent to what you were like when she first fell for you. Speaking as a new wife of two years, I can say with honesty and assurance that if my husband treats me the same way he did when we were courting, still making sure to take care of himself, and slightly go out of his way to impress me and genuinely TRY, he has succeeded far greater than a man who changes too drastically, leaving his wife with a stranger both in her heart and her bed. Ask your woman to think hard and tell you what made her fall in love with you and I assure you it wasn't because of your bank account, or the potential you had for the future - it was who you were right then. Sure who you were then was different and everyone changes, but the things that don't change (like goals, mannerisms, humor, intelligence) those things never fade! So as cheesy it will sound - don't change yourself from those good ways. The ways she knew of you and loved you for that made her say "yes".

Women do not require maintenance - we are a very self-sufficient breed. We love our space and the time and ease to make our own decisions - so another key point to keep your wife happy is to let her be who she is and SHINE. Let her be confident and feel like she is still very much the person she loved herself as - with the freedom to feel valued but not controlled. Make decisions together, 50/50. Let her fly, and she'll always come back to you time and time again.  Not only that - she will respect you more as a man that you don't have to have your thumb over her, "cramping her style" so to speak.

In review - continue to be you - the you she fell in love with and gave her life to. And at the same time allow her to remain herself. Don't try to change each other, because from then on it's a rocky road almost guaranteed for failure. How many married friends have you seen with both parties arguing, disrespecting, bulldozing or de-prioritizing each other? And within how many of those sightings did you wish you could speak up and say " can't you both get back to being the happy people you used to be?".  I can tell you right now - they are not letting each other be themselves. Control is the silent killer of relationships - stop the fight for power and control, and you can be happy, free and on your way to a fulfilling journey in which you both venture on together (as yourselves) towards the same goals and with positive attitudes.

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