by Jimmy Flatbush

Created on: June 02, 2010   Last Updated: June 03, 2010

President of the United States

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President:

This letter may find its way on to your neatly organized desk, or it could plummet into the trash receptacle where you place all of Hillary Clinton’s correspondence. Either way, I recognize that you are a very busy man. Commencement speeches take diligent preparation, and you seem well-prepared considering you only glanced at the teleprompter a few times during your last commencement speech.

Speaking in front of the future leaders of America is a daunting task, even more so when oil is spilling into the once pristine marshes in the Gulf of Mexico. Did you know we have a national environmental crisis?

My father once told me opinions are like…well, you get the picture (try looking at a James Carville photo). Like most Americans, I am full of opinions, especially when it comes to proffering advice to the most powerful person in the world.

You may wonder how an average American citizen musters the nerve to offer suggestions to the President of the United States. It may seem like I am in over my head, Mr. President, but I believe I can do better than your current cadre of advisors.

Which of your Ivy League wizards recommended that you do nothing during the first five weeks of the Gulf oil disaster? I bet you five Chicago public official indictments the advisor in question still has a job. My first suggestion to you is to fire that person. Now, let us move on to the rest of my suggestions.

Change

You promised change, Mr. President, and we got change all right…mostly chump change from the great TARP swindle. We were conned by George Bush’s promised “compassionate conservatism,” and we fell for your slick Hollywood public relations ploy to label yourself an outsider, when in reality you are about as inside as it gets.

Change starts with transparency, another empty promise you made during the campaign. You have little time to change the Washington culture, Mr. President. If you do not begin today, the only change you will experience is a change of address sometime during January, 2013.

Stop Campaigning

You are in political trouble, Mr. President, when left wing bloggers refer to you as the “George Bush of Democrats.” The oil spill is only your Katrina because of the slow response from your administration. While oil poured into the Gulf of Mexico, you were out to lunch campaigning and raising money for the mid-term election

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