by Brett Boston

Created on: May 31, 2010

Today, two friends (along with 24,000 other people) have committed to quit the social networking site Facebook. I commend that. Sites like Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc. are the biggest time wasters ever known to man. And that’s including the collective works of Whoopi Goldberg.

I think it’s great that people are starting to quit Facebook, if for no other reason than because it makes talking to girls too easy. That weird feeling of sweatiness, nausea, and adrenaline that you experience right before a girl at a bar rejects you is becoming a thing of the past. I’m glad there are people who are still willing to go “old school,” and pick up women the right way – not the way a creepy 40-year-old man who lives in his mom’s cellar would.

Social networking sites do the exact opposite of what they claim to do. Rather than encouraging interaction between friends, they take away common conversational skills used in “face to face” encounters. God forbid somebody actually go out in the real world and talk to people instead of sitting at home in a shorty-robe instant messaging his friends.

Also, Facebook makes it impossible to keep people out of your life. Listen, I did my best to ignore you and not be around you while we were in high school, so why would I want that to change just because I'm older? Stop sending me messages. I don’t want to be your “friend” now any more than I did back then. My sister is so annoying.

But perhaps the most dreaded thing about Facebook is the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend dilema. It’s a lose-lose scenario. No matter what, when a guy looks at an ex-girlfriends page, he’ll be depressed. It’s either because the girl got hot – I’m talking pornstar hot – after he dumped her, or it’s because her winter weight just hasn’t come off yet and she looks like Joy Behar’s ugly sister.

I’m convinced that there’s only one reason why guys stay on Facebook. They’re living with the delusion that the girl they met at their friend’s party will remember them and ask to get together for one more night of fervid fornication.

Let it go. If she kept calling you “Aaron,” your name hasn’t suddenly come to her. Sorry, Eric.

Anyway, I applaud these people. But I just got back from my friend Jeff’s bachelor party. It was great! He just put the pictures on Facebook. I can’t wait to check them out!

Learn more about this author, Brett Boston.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.