by Kat Ballew

Created on: May 30, 2010

Parents usually raise their children in the best way they know how, instilling values and encouraging them to be the best that they can be. However, when children grow up and see things differently, parents may have a hard time understanding why they have strayed from the way they were raised, and often may not agree with decisions that their children make.

This may result in questions and concerns that will sometimes be taken the wrong way, but learning how to deal with negative feedback from your parents and approaching the subjects of concern in a different way will help both you and your parents to reach somewhat of an understanding.

Parents may have high hopes for their children, such as becoming a doctor, taking over the family business, or going to college. However, when children do not show interest in the things their parents want for them and set their own goals, it is natural for parents to be a little disappointed in their decisions, and to voice their sometimes unwanted opinions.

This may be hard for children as well, and they may begin to think their parents do not care about what they wish to accomplish.

It is important for each side to voice their concerns and state their case, and while parents are usually their kid’s biggest fans, it is important for children to understand that their parents only want what is best for them, but may have a hard time adapting to these new ideas that seem to appear out of nowhere.

On the other hand, it is only fair for a son or daughter to be able to become their own person, and to hope for support from their parents.

There reaches a point and time when children develop their own personalities, have their own agendas, and sometimes parents may feel left out of their children’s lives.

While they may feel hurt and letdown, reacting with negative feedback is the only way they know to voice their thoughts and opinions.

In addition, while it may seem that because you fail along the way, they revel in it and say “I told you so”, it also hurts for parent to stand by and watch their children experience failure, heartbreak and disappointment.

There will be times when neither side will see eye to eye, and dealing with negative feedback from parents will be difficult, and will often leave children thinking that they cannot do anything right to please their parents.

On the other hand, parents may think that their way is the only way, the best way, and may not be willing to compromise.

Learning to understand the feelings that parents often experience and deal with the negativity of it in a positive way, and with respect, will help parents to come around and see that you are not rebelling, but instead trying to find out what is best for you and your future.

Letting your parents know that you still value their opinion and need their support will help them to let go and allow you to develop your own personality, attain your own goals, and make them proud of you in the end.

Learn more about this author, Kat Ballew.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.