by Matthew Zipple

Created on: May 30, 2010

Ever since the creation of the first peanut butter sandwich decades ago, an unsolvable dilemma has faced those who enjoy this incredible meal: the jelly soaks through the bread, creating an unappealing soggy, slimy, sticky and oozing mass. Yuck. But you can avoid this difficulty and create the perfect peanut butter and jelly by using my triple layer system. I outline the triple layer system in the following the following procedure:

1. Slice two 1/2 inch pieces of white-whole wheat bread (bread that is made by using between 33% and 50% whole wheat bread flour, with the rest being white bread flour.)

2. Generously apply peanut butter to both pieces of bread. This step is absolutely necessary, as it prevents the jelly from soaking through.

3. Apply grape jelly to one piece of bread.

4. Place the piece of bread without jelly on top of the piece of bread with jelly.

5. Cut the sandwich diagonally from the top left corner to the bottom right.

6. For best results, eat the sandwich immediately. If, however, you are making the sandwich to eat later, place the sandwich in a plastic sandwich bag. (Do not wait more than 6 hours to eat the sandwich, even with the additional layer of peanut butter, the jelly will eventually soak through.)

If the sandwich will be eaten more than 6 hours after the desired time of creation, follow the alternate procedure below.

1. Slice two 1/2 inch pieces of white-whole wheat bread.

2. Place ample amounts of peanut butter and grape jelly in separate plastic containers.

3. When you wish to eat the sandwich, follow steps 2 through 6 from the original procedure

*Never use prepackaged commercial mixtures of peanut butter and jelly. Such products are crimes against humanity, and insult sandwich eaters everywhere.

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