by Michelle Powers

Created on: February 27, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Teaching children about sexuality starts at a young age. As parents it is important you are comfortable talking about sexuality and sexual experiences with out making a child feel ashamed. Children discovering their penis or vagina is a very NORMAL part of development. They will touch themselves and it feels good and they don't have shame or modesty. First make sure you teach them the right words for their body parts. Giving their genitals nicknames sends a message that its shameful to use the words vagina or penis. I promise most of all you at sometime in childhood development did the same things. If touching themselves becomes a fixation drawing attention to it will only make it worse. Instead of saying stop touching yourself, say we do that 'stuff' in the bathroom or bedroom its not okay to do it in the middle of the living room. Most children will out grow this stage which can start at an early age; even when they are still in while diapers.

I can not say enough about not shaming your child. A child at any age should never be meant to feel bad about their bodies. As a society we tend to over sexualize everything but at the same time make it taboo to use words like penis and vagina. This sends mixed signals and can be very confusing to children. Its important to have open communication with children about their genitals, this way as they get older they can come to you if they have a rash or a yeast infection. They will feel comfortable talking to you about it because you have not reacted in a negative way in the past. Also its important for children to understand what good and bad touch is. If they have been sexually assaulted in anyway, most often perpetrators will play off the shame children have about genitals. For example a perpetrator will often say, "Don't tell Mommy or Daddy because you know its bad to touch yourself 'down' their." Keep in mind the body is nothing to be ashamed of and neither is knowing your own body. Healthy body imagines start at a young age, set up those good lines of communication right away!

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