by Elaine M. Doxie

Created on: May 29, 2010   Last Updated: August 14, 2010

Living with ADD is a difficult proposition no matter who you are, but for women it can be especially difficult.  The demands placed on women in our society today can be especially difficult if you have ADD.  Women are expected to take care of the home and the children, and often are expected to go out to work as well.  For any woman this is a huge load, but for a woman with ADD, it can border on the impossible.

First of all, women with ADD have often slipped through the cracks in the system, not getting diagnosed with this condition until much later in life.  Because they don't really know what's wrong with them, they may start to have other problems, such as depression.  A woman with ADD will try to do everything all at once, but at least a few things are going to either not get done as well, or get started and never finished.  This drives the people around us crazy, but until we actually have that diagnosis, we don't understand why we just can't seem to get things right.

Keeping a home clean and organized is a challenge for a woman with ADD, especially untreated ADD.  YOu may be in the middle of cleaning, run across a book that you haven't seen in a while, pick it up and start reading.  You may be cleaning the office, and decide to sit down and check your email, only to realize hours later as you hear your husband's car pull up in the driveway that you haven't finished cleaning the house even though you promised him that you would, or worse, you look at the clock and realize that you should have been on your way to pick your kids up from school 10 minutes ago.

While living with ADD is hard, it is not impossible.  When it comes to keeping a house clean, I highly recommend a book by Marla Cilley called "Sink Reflections."  She also has a website called flylady.net, that can help you to get organized.  It's not geared specifically toward ADD, but features wonderful ways to get and stay organized that are easy for a person with ADD to work with. 

Remembering important events is another thing that a woman with ADD can often have a hard time with.  This is where cellphones and smartphones come in.  Program an alarm on your phone to tell you when to get ready and when to leave for certain things.  You may have an alarm to tell you when to leave in the morning to make sure you are on time to work.  You may have an alarm to tell you when to pick up the kids at school.  You can even set an alarm to tell you when to make dinner each night.  For appointments, set it to remind you the day before, so that you don't forget.  Smartphones seem to be made for people with ADD, and are a fantastic tool. 

If you are married, get your husband to help you.  Study the condition together, so that he understands you better.  While ADD can often tear a marriage apart, learning to understand it together can actually bring the two of you closer.  If you are single, a reliable friend or family member can help you through the times that your ADD starts to become overwhelming.  Even your kids can get in on the act, and help you by reminding you of school events and the like.

ADD is hard, but it is not impossible to live with.  As a woman, it can be more difficult, but as long as you keep a good support system in place, and don't expect more of yourself than you can do, you will be ok.

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