There is no right way to handle a cheater. In life we are all tempted to stray but the real test is when it actually happens. We all hear "Leave him or her" when to us it is not that simple. Our hearts have been broken, betrayed, and trust broken. I can only share my experience with in hopes that this NEVER happens to anyone.
When I found out that my partener was cheating I was crushed. How could the person I vowed to love and have children with do this to me! I had given everything to this person; love, respect, trust, and above all a child. I was six months pregnant with his child and all he could do was think of himself. He put not only me in danger but he also put his child in danger of catching god only knows what from having unprotected sex.
Professionals will try and tell you that it is not personal against you, that when a significant other cheats its just sex. I find this utterly wrong to say the least! They have invested time and effort in the cheating to just be sex.
My story is a bit different from others and I hope and pray no one will ever have to go through what I did. I found actual pictures and videos of my future husband having sex with his ex. Its different walking in on the act but to see it, all of it, on video paints a different picture. You see how this man you love is with the other woman.
First things first, you will break down. You will ask why, why, why? Please understand this, no matter what answer they give will never be enough for what they have done. You could be given a million different answers to "why" and still ask it over and over. There is no right answer. There is no understanding.
After you have gone through the inital shock of the first days there are some things that need to happen in order to move on or move out.
Ask the following questions to your partner:
What did you say to yourself to give you permission to cheat? Did you feel guilty after? Did you think of me and was I discussed? How long did you plan to continue with the affair? Did you see yourself having a future with this person? What did you like about yourself with this other person? How were you different?
These questions will not answer the why but may help to finding out if you should make it work or move on with your life.
If you plan on making it work after this has happened I do recommend theropy. It does help you to move on past the cheating. Your partner must allow you to vent when needed about the cheating. It is healty and will allow you to get your frustration out instead of holding it in to only blow up later. Your partner must know that trust has been broken and doesn't heal over night. Trust will come gradually in small steps.
It has been said by a professional that men are easy to turn the emotional off and on like a light switch. They do not think like women do in affairs of the heart.
Above all know that this was not your fault. You did not make your partner cheat, they did this all on their own. If you can continue with the relationship then there must be some sort of communication. If something is wrong then it must be discussed and worked out with some middle ground. Let your partner know that they can openly communicate with you in all aspects of the realtionship if they want it to work.