by Tami Gorby

Created on: May 26, 2010   Last Updated: May 27, 2010

When I was younger I was looking for someone to help share some of the expenses while a friend of mine who I happened to work with as well, was looking for a new place to live with her and her son. 

Now I had no children at the time and yet it didn't bother me the thought of being around children. I got along quite well with her son and so this is when I decided to suggest they move in with me and when I did she was so happy. 

Well it started out working out great even though in a short time I found myself spending more time with her son, such as helping him with his school work and even teaching him how to ride a bike, then she spent with him.

The part that bothered me the most was when I'd come home and see her feeding her son the food I bought for myself from the store.  Not that I minded him eating my food, but just the idea she wouldn't ask me first. 

When I did finally mention this after seeing she continued to do this time and time again, she kind of got mad as though I was being unreasonable for saying something about it.

Well anyways we got through this and then came more things that really annoyed me. 

See we worked first shift and we had to be at work in the early hours so this meant I liked to get some sleep so I would be able to do my job and do it correctly.  But my roommate enjoyed partying non stop.  This meant every night of the week. 

Well I didn't really care because I'd just stay home and sleep when it was time. But she would not just go out and party but would return home with who knows who, laughing and them making all kinds of noises which of course would wake me up. 

One time I recall I woke up to these strangers all standing in my room laughing and looking down at me where I lay in my bed. I looked at them and told him in not such a nice way to leave my room.  The very next day of course I ended up getting a lock for my bedroom door. 

When I would talk to her about these things that bothered me she seemed not to listen at all.  She continued to do these things if not even more often as though to really get under my skin.  Until the day I decided to drop the bomb on her and tell her it was time she found another place to live I had had enough.

She cried and apologized but I had to make myself stand firm on this decision as I did do.

When you have a roommate you have to show them respect.  If you don't you might not have them for a roommate for much longer but even worse it could even destroy the friendship you had with them.

You do not take advantage of them for whatever reasons.  Be there for them to give them support or to help them with something but don't over do either of these things or you might just chase them away. 

Just because you are roommates doesn't mean you can help yourself to their things as well.  Whether its their clothes, makeup, or even food they bought themselves.  Remember they worked to be able to buy these things and maybe they don't really feel like sharing some things with you. 

If they don't particularly like someone don't bring them around them.  It doesn't mean you can't hang around this person just because your roommate doesn't care for them, but at the same time remember your roommate must have a reason they don't care for this person so respect them by not shoving this person down their throat.

Respect of a roommate to me is the most important thing you need in order for your relationship with them to survive, and to be a pleasant experience. 

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