by Maria K.

Created on: May 26, 2010   Last Updated: May 27, 2010

"Now I have moved and I've kept on moving,
Proved the points that I needed proving,
Lost the friends that I needed losing,.
Found others on the way"

- Dougie MacLean, Caledonia

Every single success and leadership coach out there (including Jack Canfield, John Maxwell and Shad Helmstetter) says that in order to achieve your dreams, you must separate yourself from all the negative people in your life, including family members and old friends, who have a tendency to question everything and to burden you with their failure mentality.

This is a tough proposition, because... well, these are friends and family we are talking about here. How exactly do you do this without feeling like a complete jerk afterward?

Of course, the entire thing would be SO much easier if friends and family members realized that they were being negative and changed themselves or became amendable to not being friends anymore.

And this is where I had to turn the accusing finger 180 degrees and ask myself - is it possible that, while I struggle with negative influences of people in my life, I could be that person myself? Could I be that "friend that needs losing"?

I took a long hard look at the matter and realized, that while I am better than many when it comes to having a positive attitude and not "dumping" on my friends, I am far, far, far from perfect. I compiled a list of questions I asked myself to determine whether I might be that "friend".

This wasn't easy, but I think it was necessary. So, here it is - consider working your way through it and perhaps taking steps to avoid being a "friend that needs losing".

Please keep in mind, that I do realize that we all have times when we need to vent or a shoulder to cry on. That is absolutely fine - it's only human to want to have some support in the times of trouble. The warning signs below should concern you, if you realize they happen ALL the time.

1) When a friend shares good news with you, do you immediately point out what might go wrong? Like when someone tells you they are having a baby, or starting a new business or considering a new job, do you find yourself listing all the reasons, why this new venture is going to be difficult instead of saying, "Congratulations! I am sure it will be great!"?

2) Do your friends feel reluctant to contact you in person or by phone, because they just never know what mood you might be in and are afraid that they may need to walk on eggshells around you?

3) When you read, watch or listen to the news, do you only retain

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