by Sara Trimble

Created on: May 25, 2010

You have your children. Life has settled into a hectic version of routine. And then, whether from meticulous planning or a huge surprise, you find yourself expecting. Your mind goes into over-drive. So much to do, so little time to do it. Amidst the butterflies, the tears, the sharing of good news, a worrisome problem presents itself. How to explain this life-changing scenario to your children. You wonder, will a small child understand the full implications of a new baby? It's perfectly natural to be selfish in those first few glorious weeks of impending motherhood...again. But eventually you must broach the issue with your young brother/sister to be.

When I became pregnant for the first time, I was in charge of raising my step-son, who was three, almost on my own. Time and again, I heard horror stories of how older siblings struck out in jealousy, harming the baby, or becoming undisciplined brats as a way of attracting attention. I found pregnancy scary enough without having to worry about my son turning into a mother's worst nightmare. My course of action to keep that from happening? Easy. Keep him involved. I let him go with me on some of the important doctor's appointments. He got to hear the baby's heartbeat, see his brother squirming in the ultrasound room, he even got his very own printout to show off.

As we prepared for the baby's arrival, I let him be in charge of mundane assignments. He got to help pick out the outfits we bought, he made sure we had plenty of supplies, he even got to help with the name picking process. Not completely of course, or the baby would have been named Doggy. But after we narrowed down our favorites to a very select few, we asked his opinion. The glow on his face as he chose his favorite was priceless. How could I tell him no after that. The day we brought the baby home, he was hesitant, as to be expected.

I made sure he knew that as a big brother, he was very important to the baby. He even got a nickname, "the big helper", which he turned out to be. As I devoted constant, and draining, attention to the newest member of our family, he would assist in small tasks. During diaper changes, he would collect the necessary items, talk to his little brother to keep him from squirming, he even learned how to pat the baby's butt to put him to sleep when he was fussy. All this seems like such small and unimportant matters, and yet, it added up to something major. A bond that outweighs any sibling rivalry that age differences might bring

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>